Prophet considers suicide

حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ بُكَيْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُقَيْلٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ،‏.‏ وَحَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، حَدَّثَنَا مَعْمَرٌ، قَالَ الزُّهْرِيُّ فَأَخْبَرَنِي عُرْوَةُ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ أَنَّهَا قَالَتْ أَوَّلُ مَا بُدِئَ بِهِ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنَ الْوَحْىِ الرُّؤْيَا الصَّادِقَةُ فِي النَّوْمِ، فَكَانَ لاَ يَرَى رُؤْيَا إِلاَّ جَاءَتْ مِثْلَ فَلَقِ الصُّبْحِ، فَكَانَ يَأْتِي حِرَاءً فَيَتَحَنَّثُ فِيهِ ـ وَهْوَ التَّعَبُّدُ ـ اللَّيَالِيَ ذَوَاتِ الْعَدَدِ، وَيَتَزَوَّدُ لِذَلِكَ ثُمَّ يَرْجِعُ إِلَى خَدِيجَةَ فَتُزَوِّدُهُ لِمِثْلِهَا، حَتَّى فَجِئَهُ الْحَقُّ وَهْوَ فِي غَارِ حِرَاءٍ فَجَاءَهُ الْمَلَكُ فِيهِ فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ فَقُلْتُ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ فَأَخَذَنِي فَغَطَّنِي حَتَّى بَلَغَ مِنِّي الْجَهْدَ ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي‏.‏ فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ‏.‏ فَأَخَذَنِي فَغَطَّنِي الثَّانِيَةَ حَتَّى بَلَغَ مِنِّي الْجَهْدَ، ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ مَا أَنَا بِقَارِئٍ‏.‏ فَغَطَّنِي الثَّالِثَةَ حَتَّى بَلَغَ مِنِّي الْجَهْدُ، ثُمَّ أَرْسَلَنِي فَقَالَ اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ ‏"‏‏.‏ حَتَّى بَلَغَ ‏{‏مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ‏}‏ فَرَجَعَ بِهَا تَرْجُفُ بَوَادِرُهُ حَتَّى دَخَلَ عَلَى خَدِيجَةَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ زَمِّلُونِي زَمِّلُونِي ‏"‏‏.‏ فَزَمَّلُوهُ حَتَّى ذَهَبَ عَنْهُ الرَّوْعُ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ يَا خَدِيجَةُ مَا لِي ‏"‏‏.‏ وَأَخْبَرَهَا الْخَبَرَ وَقَالَ ‏"‏ قَدْ خَشِيتُ عَلَى نَفْسِي ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَتْ لَهُ كَلاَّ أَبْشِرْ، فَوَاللَّهِ لاَ يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَصْدُقُ الْحَدِيثَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ‏.‏ ثُمَّ انْطَلَقَتْ بِهِ خَدِيجَةُ حَتَّى أَتَتْ بِهِ وَرَقَةَ بْنَ نَوْفَلِ بْنِ أَسَدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ الْعُزَّى بْنِ قُصَىٍّ ـ وَهْوَ ابْنُ عَمِّ خَدِيجَةَ أَخُو أَبِيهَا، وَكَانَ امْرَأً تَنَصَّرَ فِي الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ، وَكَانَ يَكْتُبُ الْكِتَابَ الْعَرَبِيَّ فَيَكْتُبُ بِالْعَرَبِيَّةِ مِنَ الإِنْجِيلِ مَا شَاءَ اللَّهُ أَنْ يَكْتُبَ، وَكَانَ شَيْخًا كَبِيرًا قَدْ عَمِيَ ـ فَقَالَتْ لَهُ خَدِيجَةُ أَىِ ابْنَ عَمِّ اسْمَعْ مِنِ ابْنِ أَخِيكَ‏.‏ فَقَالَ وَرَقَةُ ابْنَ أَخِي مَاذَا تَرَى فَأَخْبَرَهُ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَا رَأَى فَقَالَ وَرَقَةُ هَذَا النَّامُوسُ الَّذِي أُنْزِلَ عَلَى مُوسَى، يَا لَيْتَنِي فِيهَا جَذَعًا أَكُونُ حَيًّا، حِينَ يُخْرِجُكَ قَوْمُكَ‏.‏ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ أَوَمُخْرِجِيَّ هُمْ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقَالَ وَرَقَةُ نَعَمْ، لَمْ يَأْتِ رَجُلٌ قَطُّ بِمَا جِئْتَ بِهِ إِلاَّ عُودِيَ، وَإِنْ يُدْرِكْنِي يَوْمُكَ أَنْصُرْكَ نَصْرًا مُؤَزَّرًا‏.‏ ثُمَّ لَمْ يَنْشَبْ وَرَقَةُ أَنْ تُوُفِّيَ، وَفَتَرَ الْوَحْىُ فَتْرَةً حَتَّى حَزِنَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِيمَا بَلَغَنَا حُزْنًا غَدَا مِنْهُ مِرَارًا كَىْ يَتَرَدَّى مِنْ رُءُوسِ شَوَاهِقِ الْجِبَالِ، فَكُلَّمَا أَوْفَى بِذِرْوَةِ جَبَلٍ لِكَىْ يُلْقِيَ مِنْهُ نَفْسَهُ، تَبَدَّى لَهُ جِبْرِيلُ فَقَالَ يَا مُحَمَّدُ إِنَّكَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ حَقًّا‏.‏ فَيَسْكُنُ لِذَلِكَ جَأْشُهُ وَتَقِرُّ نَفْسُهُ فَيَرْجِعُ، فَإِذَا طَالَتْ عَلَيْهِ فَتْرَةُ الْوَحْىِ غَدَا لِمِثْلِ ذَلِكَ، فَإِذَا أَوْفَى بِذِرْوَةِ جَبَلٍ تَبَدَّى لَهُ جِبْرِيلُ فَقَالَ لَهُ مِثْلَ ذَلِكَ‏.‏ قَالَ ابْنُ عَبَّاسٍ ‏{‏فَالِقُ الإِصْبَاحِ‏}‏ ضَوْءُ الشَّمْسِ بِالنَّهَارِ، وَضَوْءُ الْقَمَرِ بِاللَّيْلِ‏.‏

Narrated Aisha: The commencement of the Divine Inspiration to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was in the form of good righteous (true) dreams in his sleep. He never had a dream but that it came true like bright day light. He used to go in seclusion (the cave of) Hira where he used to worship(Allah Alone) continuously for many (days) nights. He used to take with him the journey food for that (stay) and then come back to (his wife) Khadija to take his food like-wise again for another period to stay, till suddenly the Truth descended upon him while he was in the cave of Hira. The angel came to him in it and asked him to read. The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, "I do not know how to read." (The Prophet (ﷺ) added), "The angel caught me (forcefully) and pressed me so hard that I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and again asked me to read, and I replied, "I do not know how to read," whereupon he caught me again and pressed me a second time till I could not bear it anymore. He then released me and asked me again to read, but again I replied, "I do not know how to read (or, what shall I read?)." Thereupon he caught me for the third time and pressed me and then released me and said, "Read: In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists). Has created man from a clot. Read and Your Lord is Most Generous...up to..... ..that which he knew not." (96.15) Then Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) returned with the Inspiration, his neck muscles twitching with terror till he entered upon Khadija and said, "Cover me! Cover me!" They covered him till his fear was over and then he said, "O Khadija, what is wrong with me?" Then he told her everything that had happened and said, 'I fear that something may happen to me." Khadija said, 'Never! But have the glad tidings, for by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you as you keep good reactions with your Kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guest generously and assist the deserving, calamityafflicted ones." Khadija then accompanied him to (her cousin) Waraqa bin Naufal bin Asad bin Abdul Uzza bin Qusai. Waraqa was the son of her paternal uncle, i.e., her father's brother, who during the Pre-Islamic Period became a Christian and used to write the Arabic writing and used to write of the Gospels in Arabic as much as Allah wished him to write. He was an old man and had lost his eyesight. Khadija said to him, "O my cousin! Listen to the story of your nephew." Waraqa asked, "O my nephew! What have you seen?" The Prophet (ﷺ) described whatever he had seen. Waraqa said, "This is the same Namus (i.e., Gabriel, the Angel who keeps the secrets) whom Allah had sent to Moses. I wish I were young and could live up to the time when your people would turn you out." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) asked, "Will they turn me out?" Waraqa replied in the affirmative and said: "Never did a man come with something similar to what you have brought but was treated with hostility. If I should remain alive till the day when you will be turned out then I would support you strongly." But after a few days Waraqa died and the Divine Inspiration was also paused for a while and the Prophet (ﷺ) became so sad as we have heard that he intended several times to throw himself from the tops of high mountains and every time he went up the top of a mountain in order to throw himself down, Gabriel would appear before him and say, "O Muhammad! You are indeed Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) in truth" whereupon his heart would become quiet and he would calm down and would return home. And whenever the period of the coming of the inspiration used to become long, he would do as before, but when he used to reach the top of a mountain, Gabriel would appear before him and say to him what he had said before. (Ibn Abbas said regarding the meaning of: 'He it is that Cleaves the daybreak (from the darkness)' (6.96) that Al-Asbah. means the light of the sun during the day and the light of the moon at night).

Sahih al-Bukhari 6982 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6982

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حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَأَبُو سَعِيدٍ الأَشَجُّ قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي صَالِحٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ مَنَ قَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ بِحَدِيدَةٍ فَحَدِيدَتُهُ فِي يَدِهِ يَتَوَجَّأُ بِهَا فِي بَطْنِهِ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا وَمَنْ شَرِبَ سَمًّا فَقَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَحَسَّاهُ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا وَمَنْ تَرَدَّى مِنْ جَبَلٍ فَقَتَلَ نَفْسَهُ فَهُوَ يَتَرَدَّى فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ خَالِدًا مُخَلَّدًا فِيهَا أَبَدًا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) observed: He who killed himself with steel (weapon) would be the eternal denizen of the Fire of Hell and he would have that weapon in his hand and would be thrusting that in his stomach for ever and ever, he who drank poison and killed himself would sip that in the Fire of Hell where he is doomed for ever and ever; and he who killed himself by falling from (the top of) a mountain would constantly fall in the Fire of Hell and would live there for ever and ever.

Sahih Muslim 109a https://sunnah.com/muslim:109a