Why not marry a slave child?

Note:

• The word لاَعِبُ (labab), which iis translated as play, is a euphemism for sexual relations. See Sahih al-Bukhari 5105

• The word جَارِيَةً (jareeat), which is translated as girl or more specifically slave-girl, signifies a child before being sexually mature. The term can be used for one as young as infancy (see Bulugh al-Maram Book 12, 42 &, Bulugh al-Maram Book of Purification 29 (3), but typically a child before puberty is reached. The term for women is نِساءً (nissa), while a sexually mature young women is فتاة (fata).

• From these narrations, we can determine that Jabir bin Abdullah was at least 21 years old. According to historical accounts, he was born in 16 BH (607 AD). According to the narrations, this dialogue took place after his father, Abd Allah ibn Amir ibn Haram al-Ansari, died in the Battle of Uhud. This battle was on 7 Shawwal 3 AH (March 23, 625 AD). Therefore the earliest this conversation could have happened was in the next military expedition (Ghazwa) of Ahzab/Khandq, which occurred in 5 AH, and would make him at least 21 years old.

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ بَشَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْوَهَّابِ، حَدَّثَنَا عُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ، عَنْ وَهْبِ بْنِ كَيْسَانَ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ كُنْتُ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي غَزَاةٍ، فَأَبْطَأَ بِي جَمَلِي وَأَعْيَا، فَأَتَى عَلَىَّ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ جَابِرٌ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ مَا شَأْنُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ أَبْطَأَ عَلَىَّ جَمَلِي وَأَعْيَا، فَتَخَلَّفْتُ‏.‏ فَنَزَلَ يَحْجُنُهُ بِمِحْجَنِهِ، ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ ارْكَبْ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَرَكِبْتُ، فَلَقَدْ رَأَيْتُهُ أَكُفُّهُ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏"‏ تَزَوَّجْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَفَلاَ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنَّ لِي أَخَوَاتٍ، فَأَحْبَبْتُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَةً تَجْمَعُهُنَّ، وَتَمْشُطُهُنَّ، وَتَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَمَّا إِنَّكَ قَادِمٌ، فَإِذَا قَدِمْتَ فَالْكَيْسَ الْكَيْسَ ‏"‏‏.‏ ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَبِيعُ جَمَلَكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ فَاشْتَرَاهُ مِنِّي بِأُوقِيَّةٍ، ثُمَّ قَدِمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَبْلِي، وَقَدِمْتُ بِالْغَدَاةِ، فَجِئْنَا إِلَى الْمَسْجِدِ، فَوَجَدْتُهُ عَلَى باب الْمَسْجِدِ، قَالَ ‏"‏ الآنَ قَدِمْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَدَعْ جَمَلَكَ، فَادْخُلْ فَصَلِّ رَكْعَتَيْنِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَدَخَلْتُ فَصَلَّيْتُ، فَأَمَرَ بِلاَلاً أَنْ يَزِنَ لَهُ أُوقِيَّةً‏.‏ فَوَزَنَ لِي بِلاَلٌ، فَأَرْجَحَ فِي الْمِيزَانِ، فَانْطَلَقْتُ حَتَّى وَلَّيْتُ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ ادْعُ لِي جَابِرًا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ الآنَ يَرُدُّ عَلَىَّ الْجَمَلَ، وَلَمْ يَكُنْ شَىْءٌ أَبْغَضَ إِلَىَّ مِنْهُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ خُذْ جَمَلَكَ وَلَكَ ثَمَنُهُ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: I was with the Prophet (ﷺ) in a Ghazwa (Military Expedition) and my camel was slow and exhausted. The Prophet came up to me and said, "O Jabir." I replied, "Yes?" He said, "What is the matter with you?" I replied, "My camel is slow and tired, so I am left behind." So, he got down and poked the camel with his stick and then ordered me to ride. I rode the camel and it became so fast that I had to hold it from going ahead of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ). He then asked me, have you got married?" I replied in the affirmative. He asked, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "I married a matron." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Why have you not married a virgin (slave-girl), so that you may play with her and she may play with you?" Jabir replied, "I have sisters (young in age) so I liked to marry a matron who could collect them all and comb their hair and look after them." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son)." Then he asked me, "Would you like to sell your camel?" I replied in the affirmative and the Prophet (ﷺ) purchased it for one Uqiya of gold. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) reached before me and I reached in the morning, and when I went to the mosque, I found him at the door of the mosque. He asked me, "Have you arrived just now?" I replied in the affirmative. He said, "Leave your camel and come into (the mosque) and pray two rakat." I entered and offered the prayer. He told Bilal to weigh and give me one Uqiya of gold. So Bilal weighed for me fairly and I went away. The Prophet (ﷺ) sent for me and I thought that he would return to me my camel which I hated more than anything else. But the Prophet (ﷺ) said to me, "Take your camel as well as its price."

Sahih al-Bukhari 2097 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2097

See also: https://sunnah.com/muslim:715e https://sunnah.com/muslim:715f https://sunnah.com/muslim:715h https://sunnah.com/muslim:715i https://sunnah.com/muslim:715j

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حَدَّثَنَا الْمَكِّيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ جُرَيْجٍ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ أَبِي رَبَاحٍ، وَغَيْرِهِ،، يَزِيدُ بَعْضُهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ، وَلَمْ يُبَلِّغْهُ كُلُّهُمْ رَجُلٌ وَاحِدٌ مِنْهُمْ عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ كُنْتُ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي سَفَرٍ، فَكُنْتُ عَلَى جَمَلٍ ثَفَالٍ، إِنَّمَا هُوَ فِي آخِرِ الْقَوْمِ، فَمَرَّ بِي النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَنْ هَذَا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ جَابِرُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ مَا لَكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنِّي عَلَى جَمَلٍ ثَفَالٍ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَمَعَكَ قَضِيبٌ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَعْطِنِيهِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَأَعْطَيْتُهُ فَضَرَبَهُ فَزَجَرَهُ، فَكَانَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ الْمَكَانِ مِنْ أَوَّلِ الْقَوْمِ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِعْنِيهِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ بَلْ هُوَ لَكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِعْنِيهِ قَدْ أَخَذْتُهُ بِأَرْبَعَةِ دَنَانِيرَ، وَلَكَ ظَهْرُهُ إِلَى الْمَدِينَةِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَلَمَّا دَنَوْنَا مِنَ الْمَدِينَةِ أَخَذْتُ أَرْتَحِلُ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَيْنَ تُرِيدُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ تَزَوَّجْتُ امْرَأَةً قَدْ خَلاَ مِنْهَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنَّ أَبِي تُوُفِّيَ وَتَرَكَ بَنَاتٍ، فَأَرَدْتُ أَنْ أَنْكِحَ امْرَأَةً قَدْ جَرَّبَتْ خَلاَ مِنْهَا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَذَلِكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَلَمَّا قَدِمْنَا الْمَدِينَةَ قَالَ ‏"‏ يَا بِلاَلُ اقْضِهِ وَزِدْهُ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَأَعْطَاهُ أَرْبَعَةَ دَنَانِيرَ، وَزَادَهُ قِيرَاطًا‏.‏ قَالَ جَابِرٌ لاَ تُفَارِقُنِي زِيَادَةُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏.‏ فَلَمْ يَكُنِ الْقِيرَاطُ يُفَارِقُ جِرَابَ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: I was accompanying the Prophet (ﷺ) on a journey and was riding a slow camel that was lagging behind the others. The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by me and asked, "Who is this?" I replied, "Jabir bin Abdullah." He asked, "What is the matter, (why are you late)?" I replied, "I am riding a slow camel." He asked, "Do you have a stick?" I replied in the affirmative. He said, "Give it to me." When I gave it to him, he beat the camel and rebuked it. Then that camel surpassed the others thenceforth. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Sell it to me." I replied, "It is (a gift) for you, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)." He said, "Sell it to me. I have bought it for four Dinars (gold pieces) and you can keep on riding it till Medina." When we approached Medina, I started going (towards my house). The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Where are you going?" I Sad, "I have married a widow." He said, "Why have you not married a virgin to fondle with each other?" I said, "My father died and left daughters, so I decided to marry a widow (an experienced woman) (to look after them)." He said, "Well done." When we reached Medina, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O Bilal, pay him (the price of the camel) and give him extra money." Bilal gave me four Dinars and one Qirat extra. (A sub-narrator said): Jabir added, "The extra Qirat of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) never parted from me." The Qirat was always in Jabir bin Abdullah's purse.

Sahih al-Bukhari 2309 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2309

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حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، أَخْبَرَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ، عَنِ الشَّعْبِيِّ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ غَزَوْتُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ فَتَلاَحَقَ بِي النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَنَا عَلَى نَاضِحٍ لَنَا قَدْ أَعْيَا فَلاَ يَكَادُ يَسِيرُ فَقَالَ لِي ‏"‏ مَا لِبَعِيرِكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ عَيِيَ‏.‏ قَالَ فَتَخَلَّفَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَزَجَرَهُ وَدَعَا لَهُ، فَمَا زَالَ بَيْنَ يَدَىِ الإِبِلِ قُدَّامَهَا يَسِيرُ‏.‏ فَقَالَ لِي ‏"‏ كَيْفَ تَرَى بَعِيرَكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ بِخَيْرٍ قَدْ أَصَابَتْهُ بَرَكَتُكَ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَفَتَبِيعُنِيهِ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ فَاسْتَحْيَيْتُ، وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَنَا نَاضِحٌ غَيْرَهُ، قَالَ فَقُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَبِعْنِيهِ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَبِعْتُهُ إِيَّاهُ عَلَى أَنَّ لِي فَقَارَ ظَهْرِهِ حَتَّى أَبْلُغَ الْمَدِينَةَ‏.‏ قَالَ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي عَرُوسٌ، فَاسْتَأْذَنْتُهُ فَأَذِنَ لِي، فَتَقَدَّمْتُ النَّاسَ إِلَى الْمَدِينَةِ حَتَّى أَتَيْتُ الْمَدِينَةَ، فَلَقِيَنِي خَالِي فَسَأَلَنِي عَنِ الْبَعِيرِ، فَأَخْبَرْتُهُ بِمَا صَنَعْتُ فِيهِ فَلاَمَنِي، قَالَ وَقَدْ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ لِي حِينَ اسْتَأْذَنْتُهُ ‏"‏ هَلْ تَزَوَّجْتَ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ تَزَوَّجْتُ ثَيِّبًا‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ هَلاَّ تَزَوَّجْتَ بِكْرًا تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ تُوُفِّيَ وَالِدِي ـ أَوِ اسْتُشْهِدَ ـ وَلِي أَخَوَاتٌ صِغَارٌ، فَكَرِهْتُ أَنْ أَتَزَوَّجَ مِثْلَهُنَّ، فَلاَ تُؤَدِّبُهُنَّ، وَلاَ تَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ، فَتَزَوَّجْتُ ثَيِّبًا لِتَقُومَ عَلَيْهِنَّ وَتُؤَدِّبَهُنَّ‏.‏ قَالَ فَلَمَّا قَدِمَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم الْمَدِينَةَ غَدَوْتُ عَلَيْهِ بِالْبَعِيرِ، فَأَعْطَانِي ثَمَنَهُ، وَرَدَّهُ عَلَىَّ‏.‏ قَالَ الْمُغِيرَةُ هَذَا فِي قَضَائِنَا حَسَنٌ لاَ نَرَى بِهِ بَأْسًا‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: I participated in a Ghazwa along with Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) The Prophet (ﷺ) met me (on the way) while I was riding a camel of ours used for irrigation and it had got so tired that it could hardly walk. The Prophet (ﷺ) asked me, "What is wrong with the camel?" I replied, "It has got tired." So. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) came from behind it and rebuked it and prayed for it so it started surpassing the other camels and going ahead of them. Then he asked me, "How do you find your camel (now)?" I replied, "I find it quite well, now as it has received your blessings." He said, "Will you sell it to me?" I felt shy (to refuse his offer) though it was the only camel for irrigation we had. So, I said, "Yes." He said, "Sell it to me then." I sold it to him on the condition that I should keep on riding it till I reached Medina. Then I said, "O Allah's Apostle! I am a bridegroom," and requested him to allow me to go home. He allowed me, and I set out for Medina before the people till I reached Medina, where I met my uncle, who asked me about the camel and I informed him all about it and he blamed me for that. When I took the permission of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) he asked me whether I had married a virgin or a matron and I replied that I had married a matron. He said, "Why hadn't you married a virgin who would have played with you, and you would have played with her?" I replied, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! My father died (or was martyred) and I have some young sisters, so I felt it not proper that I should marry a young girl like them who would neither teach them manners nor serve them. So, I have married a matron so that she may serve them and teach them manners." When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) arrived in Medina, I took the camel to him the next morning and he gave me its price and gave me the camel itself as well.

Sahih al-Bukhari 2967 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2967

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حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَمْرٌو، عَنْ جَابِرٍ، قَالَ قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ هَلْ نَكَحْتَ يَا جَابِرُ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ مَاذَا أَبِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ لاَ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، إِنَّ أَبِي قُتِلَ يَوْمَ أُحُدٍ وَتَرَكَ تِسْعَ بَنَاتٍ كُنَّ لِي تِسْعَ أَخَوَاتٍ، فَكَرِهْتُ أَنْ أَجْمَعَ إِلَيْهِنَّ جَارِيَةً خَرْقَاءَ مِثْلَهُنَّ، وَلَكِنِ امْرَأَةً تَمْشُطُهُنَّ وَتَقُومُ عَلَيْهِنَّ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَصَبْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jabir: "Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "Have you got married O Jabir?" I replied, "Yes." He asked "What, a virgin or a matron?" I replied, "Not a virgin but a matron." He said, "Why did you not marry a young slave girl who would have fondled with you?" I replied, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! My father was martyred on the day of Uhud and left nine (orphan) daughters who are my nine sisters; so I disliked to have another young girl of their age, but (I sought) an (elderly) woman who could comb their hair and look after them." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You have done the right thing."

Sahih al-Bukhari 4052 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:4052

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حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو النُّعْمَانِ، حَدَّثَنَا هُشَيْمٌ، حَدَّثَنَا سَيَّارٌ، عَنِ الشَّعْبِيِّ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَفَلْنَا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مِنْ غَزْوَةٍ فَتَعَجَّلْتُ عَلَى بَعِيرٍ لِي قَطُوفٍ، فَلَحِقَنِي رَاكِبٌ مِنْ خَلْفِي، فَنَخَسَ بَعِيرِي بِعَنَزَةٍ كَانَتْ مَعَهُ، فَانْطَلَقَ بَعِيرِي كَأَجْوَدِ مَا أَنْتَ رَاءٍ مِنَ الإِبِلِ، فَإِذَا النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا يُعْجِلُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ كُنْتُ حَدِيثَ عَهْدٍ بِعُرُسٍ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ ثَيِّبٌ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ فَلَمَّا ذَهَبْنَا لِنَدْخُلَ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَمْهِلُوا حَتَّى تَدْخُلُوا لَيْلاً ـ أَىْ عِشَاءً ـ لِكَىْ تَمْتَشِطَ الشَّعِثَةُ وَتَسْتَحِدَّ الْمُغِيبَةُ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: While we were returning from a Ghazwa (Holy Battle) with the Prophet, I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel A rider came behind me and pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet (ﷺ) himself. He said, 'What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied, I am newly married " He said, "Did you marry a virgin or a matron? I replied, "A matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" When we were about to enter (Medina), the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Wait so that you may enter (Medina) at night so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic region.

Sahih al-Bukhari 5079 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5079

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حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا مُحَارِبٌ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، رضى الله عنهما يَقُولُ تَزَوَّجْتُ فَقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ مَا تَزَوَّجْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ تَزَوَّجْتُ ثَيِّبًا‏.‏ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا لَكَ وَلِلْعَذَارَى وَلِعَابِهَا ‏"‏‏.‏ فَذَكَرْتُ ذَلِكَ لِعَمْرِو بْنِ دِينَارٍ فَقَالَ عَمْرٌو سَمِعْتُ جَابِرَ بْنَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ يَقُولُ قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ هَلاَّ جَارِيَةً تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: When I got married, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "What type of lady have you married?" I replied, "I have married a matron' He said, "Why, don't you have a liking for the virgins and for fondling them?" Jabir also said: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Why didn't you marry a young slave girl so that you might play with her and she with you?'

Sahih al-Bukhari 5080 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5080

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حَدَّثَنِي يَعْقُوبُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، حَدَّثَنَا هُشَيْمٌ، أَخْبَرَنَا سَيَّارٌ، عَنِ الشَّعْبِيِّ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فِي غَزْوَةٍ، فَلَمَّا قَفَلْنَا كُنَّا قَرِيبًا مِنَ الْمَدِينَةِ تَعَجَّلْتُ عَلَى بَعِيرٍ لِي قَطُوفٍ، فَلَحِقَنِي رَاكِبٌ مِنْ خَلْفِي فَنَخَسَ بَعِيرِي بِعَنَزَةٍ كَانَتْ مَعَهُ، فَسَارَ بَعِيرِي كَأَحْسَنِ مَا أَنْتَ رَاءٍ مِنَ الإِبِلِ، فَالْتَفَتُّ فَإِذَا أَنَا بِرَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي حَدِيثُ عَهْدٍ بِعُرْسٍ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَتَزَوَّجْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قُلْتُ نَعَمْ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَبِكْرًا أَمْ ثَيِّبًا ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ قُلْتُ بَلْ ثَيِّبًا‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ فَهَلاَّ بِكْرًا تُلاَعِبُهَا وَتُلاَعِبُكَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ فَلَمَّا قَدِمْنَا ذَهَبْنَا لِنَدْخُلَ، فَقَالَ ‏"‏ أَمْهِلُوا حَتَّى تَدْخُلُوا لَيْلاً ـ أَىْ عِشَاءً ـ لِكَىْ تَمْتَشِطَ الشَّعِثَةُ، وَتَسْتَحِدَّ الْمُغِيبَةُ ‏"‏‏.‏

Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) in Ghazwa, and when we returned and approached Medina, I wanted to hurry while riding a slow camel. A rider overtook me and pricked my camel with a spear which he had, whereupon my camel started running as fast as any other fast camel you may see. I looked back, and behold, the rider was Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) . I said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! I am newly married " He asked, "Have you got married?" I replied, "Yes." He said, "A virgin or a matron?" I replied, "(Not a virgin) but a matron" He said, "Why didn't you marry a virgin girl so that you could play with her and she with you?" When we reached (near Medina) and were going to enter it, the Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Wait till you enter your home early in the night so that the lady whose hair is unkempt may comb her hair and that the lady whose husband has been away may shave her pubic hair."

Sahih al-Bukhari 5247 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5247

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حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ يَحْيَى التَّمِيمِيُّ، وَأَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْعَلاَءِ الْهَمْدَانِيُّ جَمِيعًا عَنْ أَبِي مُعَاوِيَةَ، - وَاللَّفْظُ لِيَحْيَى أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، - عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ، قَالَ كُنْتُ أَمْشِي مَعَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بِمِنًى فَلَقِيَهُ عُثْمَانُ فَقَامَ مَعَهُ يُحَدِّثُهُ فَقَالَ لَهُ عُثْمَانُ يَا أَبَا عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ أَلاَ نُزَوِّجُكَ جَارِيَةً شَابَّةً لَعَلَّهَا تُذَكِّرُكَ بَعْضَ مَا مَضَى مِنْ زَمَانِكَ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ لَئِنْ قُلْتَ ذَاكَ لَقَدْ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

'Alqama reported: While I was walking with 'Abdullah at Mina, 'Uthman happened to meet him. He stopped there and began to talk with him. Uthman said to him: Abu 'Abd al-Rahman, should we not marry you to a prepubescent slave girl who may recall to you some of the past of your bygone days; thereupon he said: If you say so, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances). and preserves one from immorality, but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of controlling sexual desire.

Sahih Muslim 1400a https://sunnah.com/muslim:1400a

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حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ، قَالَ إِنِّي لأَمْشِي مَعَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ بِمِنًى إِذْ لَقِيَهُ عُثْمَانُ بْنُ عَفَّانَ فَقَالَ هَلُمَّ يَا أَبَا عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ قَالَ فَاسْتَخْلاَهُ فَلَمَّا رَأَى عَبْدُ اللَّهِ أَنْ لَيْسَتْ لَهُ حَاجَةٌ - قَالَ - قَالَ لِي تَعَالَ يَا عَلْقَمَةُ - قَالَ - فَجِئْتُ فَقَالَ لَهُ عُثْمَانُ أَلاَ نُزَوِّجُكَ يَا أَبَا عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ جَارِيَةً بِكْرًا لَعَلَّهُ يَرْجِعُ إِلَيْكَ مِنْ نَفْسِكَ مَا كُنْتَ تَعْهَدُ فَقَالَ عَبْدُ اللَّهِ لَئِنْ قُلْتَ ذَاكَ ‏.‏ فَذَكَرَ بِمِثْلِ حَدِيثِ أَبِي مُعَاوِيَةَ ‏.‏

'Alqama reported: While I was going along with 'Abdullah b. Ma'sud (Allah he pleased with him) in Mina, 'Uthman b. 'Affan (Allah be pleased with him) happened to meet him and said: Come here, Abu 'Abd al-Rahman (kunya of Abdullah b. Mas'ud), and he isolated him (from me), and when 'Abdullah (b. Mas'ud) saw that there was no need (for this privacy), he said to me: 'Alqama, come on, and so I went there. (Then) 'Uthman said to him: Abu Abd al-Rahman, should we not marry you to a virgin girl that your past may be recalled to your mind? 'Abdullah said: If you say so, the rest of the hadith is the same as narrated above.

Sahih Muslim 1400b https://sunnah.com/muslim:1400b